| My plan |
[Feb. 21st, 2008|10:15 pm] |
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| |  jealous | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Incubus | ] |
So I've decided to do something. I will still continue posting entries that are about my thoughts of that day, week, or even month. I guess all that depends on how often I update this, but, I would like to write stories. Freshman year Mr. Petrov decided that it was useless for us to read the Odyssey in its entirety, so he rather told us the whole story in a way that, well, he said that he didn't tamper with the plot. This was actually one of my highlights freshman year. The story was absolutely amazing, and I then went on and read the Odyssey, and can tell the whole story in it's entirety.
Kind of like a fable, perhaps? I want to write short stories, maybe a paragraph long, maybe 2, but each story bears a relevant message at the end. I wrote this entry unprepared, because I know what's expected now is, well, a story! So I'm gonna wing this one:
After a huge meal in the African safari, a bunch of wild dogs leave their meal of small game and start to head home. They're completely full, and even regret eating so much. They eventually approach a wounded lion. But this lion is far from wounded, it's on it's last breath. The dogs, even as full as they were, attacked the lion and tore it to pieces, cleaning up every bit of it's remains. They left the scene with what they thought was pride. A fox, who spectated the whole thing, approached the wild dogs and said "if this lion were just a little bit healthier, you'd find that his claws were stronger than your teeth" |
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| Vocabbage |
[Feb. 19th, 2008|10:06 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | 4 Park Ave | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | guilty | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | silence | ] |
I like to think I have good vocabulary...although, in retrospect, my SAT Critical Reading score was probably on the 50th percentile of students who speak English as a second language, but who cares, that test means nothing now considering I'm into college! But someone with good vocabulary doesn't seem to know contemporary phrases, actually, not at all do they know what "good pull" means and "chubby dumper". I think it's better to know contemporary words and phrases, rather than memorize each vocabulary word that's in "To Kill a Mockingbird" and "1984", because if you know these phrases and words that you hear everyday, well then you can actually hold a conversation. Don't get me wrong, not everyone says "good pull" and "chubby dumper", but do we really need to know what the word "superfluous" means?
So me, again, I like to think I know all of these contemporary phrases that we say to our dumb faces on a regular basis, but today I was told, by my father, that an inclination made by myself was a "cop out". I immediately acted as if I knew what he was talking about, which was totally was not true, and then also immediately went to my computer and logged onto www.urbandictionary.com. The Grammar Nazi added the definition of "cop out":
n. an excuse designed to shirk responsibility.
Sometimes I look up definitions and they continue on with a chain of definitions, although, that's usually seen in a legitimate dictionary, regardless if legitimacy can be measure in this situation. But urban dictionary makes it very easy, and I would hope the definition would be easy to comprehend considering it was entered by The Grammar Nazi.
So, after realizing what "cop out" meant, I sat at my computer desk and decided to write about my pathetic knowledge of words/phrases that are used everyday, in a livejournal entry. Hoorah!
Welcome back America. ...or the selected few who have time to read this.
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| if only |
[Sep. 8th, 2007|09:31 pm] |
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| |  aggravated | ] |
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| | rush | ] |
if only...
it sucks how people are so judge mental. a lot of times we automatically judge people on they're actions. understandable i guess. we judge people based on how they're supposed to be. we compare ourselves, or someone else, to someone of a higher character. a lot of times we'll say that "if you were more like that kid, or if you acted more like that kid, you'd be better off." but to the characters who we get compared to, aren't the people who we truly know. if we knew the truth about everyone, we wouldn't be so judge mental in a situation like that. we'd know the truth about everyone, and the actions that everyone does, and we wouldn't be able to say that line "if you were more like that kid, huh?"
over the past year i've fucked up big time. i've gotten my self into a lot of trouble. more trouble then any of my family members have even gotten themselves into. part of it is being a teenager, part of it is not thinking. i always think if my parents knew how my sister was, and what she does on the weekends, and before school, that they wouldn't think so less of me. it sounds ignorant, to say that if my sister were to ever get caught that she'd get all the blame and i'd be free to go, but it's straight jealousy. if only my parents knew what she did, i'd be better off, i wouldn't be considered the one who fucks up and always has to get in trouble...
...if only
so summer is over and we now start the new school year. being a senior actually is pretty legit. this year is gunna go by fast and soon enough we'll all be accepted into colleges and ready to start a new life. interesting. and also scary. we'll see how that goes.
and we still have 1-9 potential. though maybe senior year would change something..although i AM jumping to conclusions on that one, but we do have a rep with that haha. i'm out
pace. |
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| Guest entry by Charley Wang |
[Jul. 31st, 2007|11:44 pm] |
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| |  blah | ] |
"club del tuesday. be there. i will."
how ironic. i was gonna write a good guest entry, but not in the mood anymore. whatever, happy birthday del, and sorry to to you, christine, greg, gurka, mr. and mrs. gurka for my poor decision making tonight. im sure gurka will fill you guys in on more later.
signing out
charley
scilymtaitwaiwgatbwyrn |
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| so summer shall begin.... |
[Jul. 28th, 2007|12:04 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  satisfied | ] |
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| | silence to my ears =) | ] |
so this past week i've straight up been thinking about the rest of summer. once swimming is over, which is about one race close, there will be no worries and i can finally relax. i took a lot of this season for granted. i missed a lot of training and racing so i could hang out, have a better time then i would if i was swimming. i looked back, and kind of realized it wasn't worth it. i sure had fun, i thought it was excusable to say that this summer was for me to hang out with my senior friends. i would only have about 2 months left with some of my closest friends, and then what i would experience after that would be a lot different, something that i dare not to even think about. so after i thought about it, it wasn't really worth it. i sacrificed a huge passion of mine, priorities that i had, to go out most of the summer and try to have a good time, a good time that i thought i would never get back.
we can't let go something that we love, put a passion of ours on hold, to get another deed done that will only be temporarily rewarding. work hard, keep your mind where it's supposed to be, and eventually the hard work and dedication will lead to something more rewarding then anything that you would get from trying to go out and have a good time. cause that reward that is temporary, will always be temporary, no matter how much you think. no matter how much i think that i will never get this summer back, with my senior friends, there will always be another chance. another chance at a time where i can, and will be able to put my priorities and passions aside. and just enjoy it without ruining anything.
today was my birthday. got my license. probably the only good part of the day along with the sweet gifts from friends. let's only hope the weekend will be better.
club del tuesday. be there. i will. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 23rd, 2007|11:06 am] |
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| | hot | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | techno beatz | ] |
I keep meaning to update this journal. But life happens. I take issue with the stance that "shit happens", soley for the reason that while "shit" does happen (sometimes quite a lot) it's really just one part of life. I mean honestly, if all that happened to you was "shit" I don't think any of us would still be here. Man cannot exist on shit alone. Therefore,whether for better or worse, life happens.
lately i've been focusing more on swimming, which maybe is why i did so well this past weekend. yesterday and today i was at rutgers for a pretty big swim meet. and now i have to go back next weekend to do it all over again. or at least a bit of it all over.
summer is about half way through. and it's been pretty legit. to have a great time already through swimming and working, i really have no idea what the rest of the summer is gunna be like when swimming ends. right now would be the perfect time to talk about the class of '07...but it's not the right time yet... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 4th, 2007|09:47 pm] |
i hate thinking of these "things" as assignments. they're clearly not, but i feel like i have a priority to update this, or at least fake an update for the rest of the fools who read this. i have an audience.
i would be lying if i said that i basically write in this too talk about drinking occasionally so when your mother checks her email, she falls upon a journal entry written by brian gurka talking about how he enjoyed doing mischievous and immoral acts the past weekend. or maybe stumble across the lies of how he's depressed and how he wishes his life was better...
...mehh...they're not lies, i try to write about how i feel. i wouldn't only write about how my weekend was or what i have to do for homework, i don't want to waste my time writing about a horrible weekend in the nock', or a horrible day in school. although, i feel i express how i feel in a dramatic manner. i'm a fuckin' kid, sure i have experienced the most important, and will experience the most of important years of my life, but i think i get caught up in other people's lives rather then my own. when i feel confused, and can't comprehend how i feel, and what i'm thinking about. i try to relate it to someone else's life. it's clearly foolish and I finally came to realize that. When you relate your own life to someone else's, to try to understand yours better, you forget about your own, and get caught up in something else. you have the potential to fully understand yourself, and only you can reach that potential. and you can't reach that potential by looking into someone else's life, because like yourself, only they have the potential of understanding their life. be yourself. potential. word.
tonight was the first night of outside practice. it was freezing. i really need to get back into shape before i step up for a race and not make a total fool out of myself. time to get the last season motivation back.
it's only monday, and i can't wait for the weekend. summer is very close. let's finish these last few days of school.
acoustic evan and jaron is so legit. i wish i was good at guitar. i'd rip that shit up at cafe buono and make a shout out.
like always. pace. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 28th, 2007|11:46 pm] |
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| |  confused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | john mayer covers | ] |
i guess i could just start all my entries with "long time no entry". it seems i write about once a month, which is fine, because up until these past few weeks, nothing really has been happening. last weekend i went down the shore with a bunch of the seniors. expecting to be drunk the whole weekend, i actually just relaxed, and laid out on the beach. i basically just enjoyed getting away for 3 days, and not really worrying about anything. i ignored most of my phone calls from my parents and friends who were in town, tried to get isolated from what was still happening in the "nock".
i feel like a senior. most of my friends have been doing nothing in school, considering they're graduating in a few weeks. i'm caught up in a bad habit of not doing any homework, or any class work. i feel like i'm in summer, i just want this year to be over, and not worry about anything. last summer i was too lazy to do anything, my lifeguarding job didn't go to well, almost got fired a couple times, and i never really went out. i got about 3 months till my seniors friends leave for college, and i'm not saying goodbye yet. they enjoy hanging out with me, i enjoy hanging out with them, i guess i owe them and myself, to actually get shit done this summer.
this weekend was the first weekend that i've gotten shitty and went home since the po 9 came to my house to talk to mrs. gurka back in december. it was interesting, but i felt fine going home. the past 5 months i've just been to scared to actually go home, not scared of getting in trouble, but i just didn't want to disappoint my parents. i guess it's still considered a disappointment if i sleep out and they have no idea what i'm doing, but i thought that maybe it would be better if they knew. hell i wasn't coming home trying to get "picked", but i can't lead them on to thinking that the month grounding had an effect on me. i think if they know, that they'll be more understandable. which is interesting because that is what i though back in december, and it didn't work out all, but i think my parents are becoming a little more easy-going. charley and greg were supposed to come down this weekend, but only greg did. tried to show him a good time. he threw up. i didn't. april's house was a lot of fun, and kind of got me even more excited for this summer.
not including this week and the next week, we have 0 more school days left before finals. exciting. the year went fast, and i actually need to start thinking about what i'm gunna do with my life, need to start visiting colleges after swimming ends. i can't wait to go away to school, just so i can live on my own, but the process of getting there is something i'm not gunna think about. summer is almost here, almost.
pace |
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| it's been a while |
[Apr. 11th, 2007|12:35 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | indescribable | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | goo goo dolls | ] |
"spring break" so far has been pretty fun. i put that in quotes because now i'm talking about the legitimate spring break. suspension is officially over and i return to school with everyone else starting monday. it would be quite cliché to say that my lesson learned here is to "watch what you say on the internet, ya' never know who's watching." Clearly i've learned that lesson, and a result would be me deleting my myspace in a few days, but i think it got onto me a little more. not only was i disappointed, but my parents were. they were upset on the fact that they couldn't get me out of this whole mess. i was so convinced that my parents were going to come home from the meeting with the superintendent, and say that i'm back in school tomorrow. my parents were convinced. instead they came home, and said that this was probably the first time ever they couldn't get me out of something that i got myself into. that sounds pathetic, and i finally realized that it is pathetic. although i barely get in trouble, when i do, i bitch to my parents to do the dirty work, and it workes everytime. the situation this time was also pretty rough, and was tough to get out of, it worked perfect. after nights of crying, thinking that i didn't deserve to be suspended, i thought that this could have happened to anyone. it was something so unfortunate, that even the most innocent kid could have gotten the same punishment. it's interesting how we always resort to interpret the situation to make us feel worse, i sat there and the more i thought about it the more upset i got. but i wasn't thinking of it right. i had to deal with it. again, it was unfortunate. i had to do stuff on my own. i learned that i can't always resort to my parents getting me out of situations. cause sometimes, and eventually, the won't be there. i got a lot of help from friends, my brother, and i tried to do something on my own to try to argue it. unfortunately, as much as i could do, nothing could change. i convinced myself i would never give up, i still won't. sure the punishment was "superfluous", but again, it could have happened to anyone, and need to deal with it, and convince myself that it's nothing against me. i'm the kid you bring home to your mom and dad, and i get in trouble for something that can be misconstrued by someone else, to something that makes me look like a "bad" kid. as long as i know the truth, i could care less. i'll walk in the halls on monday, and think to myself, i got one more year in this school. and then i'm free. off to college. to swim. to party. to meet new people. and to study, i guess.
never give up. even if it won't change anything, you'll find out later it did change something. eventually it came down to principle, and with all the shit i pulled off after the "sentence", they realized they were wrong, but as high school administration, they couldn't give up. again, as long as i know.
so far, we've drank, and drank, and camped, which consisted of drinking. we froze our asses off in the morning, but it was an experience.
tonight was pretty fun, watched a movie with a bunch of the guys, and some girl. tomorrow is a new day, let's do this right.
...some girl? some amazing girl |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 3rd, 2007|10:49 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | john mayer | ] |
Long time no post. Ever since swimming ended, I felt like it was totally unnecessary for me to edit in a new entry. Although the past couple days have been pretty rough, and definitely deserve an entry. I continue to sit at home every morning, on a weekday, due to my out-of-school suspension of 6 days. My sister brings me home work, that I have been procrastinating for the past week. Rather then explaining the whole situation on the internet, I will leave it for someone to talk to me personally if they would like to know the reason for my suspension. Just watch what you say on the internet. They'll get'cha.
Tonight was the Cougar "Awards" Dinner. I got a sweet ass trophy, and some of the senior speeches were really good.It's going to be a lot different next year without some of the older kids.
Technically I have been on spring break the past week, but spring break officially begins this Thursday with me Mike and Jordan throwin' back around 10 am. We'll see how that works out, should be interesting.
pace. |
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| gurka has dirty pictures on his computer. |
[Feb. 23rd, 2007|08:12 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | chipper | ] |
hi. this is krista. =)
and megan. and lauren.
gurka just showed us very dirty pictures he has on his computer.
involving corn. which was kind of odd.
but whatever floats his boat.
he's cute. and skinny. very skinny.
we <3 his cougar butt.
but not his dirty pictures.
that he looks at late at night.
touching himself. "wishing he had a girlfriend". (as quoted by gurka himself)
ok this was stellar.
peace out cuties.
x (which i thought was a hug) o (which i thought was a kiss)
krista, megan, and lauren |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 16th, 2007|08:52 pm] |
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Pequannock High School swimming made it to the state sectional semi-finals tonight...i'll be back. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 16th, 2007|01:00 am] |
i do not feel that this livejournal is necessary. the last thing i need right now is another thing that i'm signed up for on the internet. most of my day consists of me in my room, on my computer, looking at some freshman girl's myspace. that's a joke. but not really. i need to get out more often. i swim, which unfortunately takes up most of my time, but i could be doing a lot more. weekdays would always be safe, but maybe staying "myspace surfin'" is what's gunna keep me out of trouble. it's almost been three months since the pequannock police brought me home and had a good talk with mom and dad. and since then, i've been smart. when i do go out on weekends, i make "better" choices. this might sound stupid, but i felt that my parents were more disappointed that i was dumb enough to get caught, rather then the fact that i was doing something illegal. it definitely changed me a lot, i thought about a lot more things before i actually did something.
tonight i ended up going out. swam at the Van Wingerden residence.
4 day weekend, but definitely a meet weekend. tomorrow pequannock swims montville. then i'll be swimming at seton hall the next two days. we'll see how that goes. i should swim well, i've been working my ass off at practice, but i can't race. my brother's freshman and sophomore year at college ended up getting really sick 3 days before his championship meet, and didn't do so well as he wanted to at the meet. he worked his ass off for 5 months and then when it comes down to the race that you've been training for, you can't do anything about it. though he ended up doing well this year. with me, it's not an unfortunate sickness, i just can never get my head straight before my race, and i choke. i get too nervous. i care so much about how i'm gunna do, and that if i don't do well, all the training i've done to prepare, was for nothing. i can't handle it mentally.
other then the meets, the 4 day weekend will consist of: catching up on sleep, april's on saturday, keeping an undefeated record with greg, and catching up on some more sleep.
pace.
Muscle Milk puts me to sleep. |
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